Its 9pm, your kids are asleep (hopefully), dinner is done, the house looks like a tornado has run through it, your mind is still spinning on the 100 million little things you need to get done for the wife, or for the kids, or for work, blah blah blah!

You have a choice...you can take this moment to capitalize on not having kids pulling your attention away and check some things off “the list”...or you can play a board game with the wife, maybe catch up on a show you have been trying to finish, maybe you can motivate to workout in the evenings (I can’t because, well, I enjoy having a cocktail at night way too much)..or maybe you just want some alone time to listen to a podcast or read a book ...whatever it may be ...maybe it is time to do for you!

“Remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

Yes, even us dads need to focus on self-care...because if we fail to take care of ourselves, we will fail to be able to take care of our family...you know that whole put your oxygen mask on first thing!

Self-care can seem like a broad term, and honestly it kind of is. Everyone has their own routine or regimen that works for them, and that is a good thing! But when it comes to my self-care, I can break it up into 4 parts...physical care, mental care, relationship care, and diet...and if you haven’t listened to our “Self-Care for Today’s Dad” podcast episode yet, spoiler alert, Michael and I talk about these as our pillars of self-care.

Physical Care

It takes work to maintain that dad bod figure, so make sure you do it...ok I’m kidding. When we talk about physical care what I really mean is making time for yourself to make sure you get your physical release, keep it PG-13 for just a second, whatever that may be! Could be a hike, a run, an intense mountain bike ride, a gym workout, yoga, the list is endless. But the important thing is to spend time doing the physical activity that brings you joy and creates balance in your “world.” For me, it is quality asphalt therapy...when I get my run in, I'm ready to deal with all the shit that life throws my way...not only because my body feels better...but because my mind does as well..and if the kids are making it hard to stay active, then check out our Favorite Gear and find a way to bring them along with you...

Mental Care

The second “pillar” of self-care, is mental care...and honestly I think the mental care piece is pretty central to all of the other “pillars” because when you achieve your mental balance, everything else seems to fall into line easier….

If you are like me, an organized planner (yes I still use a paper calendar as well as my digital calendar) and a detailed daily “task” list bring a level of calm to my mind that is hard to beat! If I’m organized here, I am able to make sure that I get all the other pieces of my life taken care of..which means I can be present at home, at work, for my workouts, etc when I need to be.

But mental care is more than just a schedule to me though...it is also doing the things that allow my mind and soul to “recharge”. Some days that is making sure I’m getting as much sleep as I can...or maybe it is finding time to read (check out our Favorite Books if you want to know what we are reading these days), to have “check in” conversations with the wife or friends (where we actually take time to dive in on things that are going on in our lives and not just have a quick convo), to listen to music, to meditate, to play guitar, to write, or whatever I think will allow my mind and soul to recharge.

Relationship Care

Right now getting out with the boys on a trail run sounds pretty great. But a date night with the wife sounds pretty awesome too! I would also dig having a bourbon and cigar with my dad too...speaking as a “stay at home dad” pretty much any opportunity to hang out with another adult sounds pretty epic. Which is good! Because it certainly helps to create balance in my life so I don’t forget that I am a real person too and not a servant to children...but spending time fostering your relationships, be it with your spouse, friends, or family is a great way to check off a few of the self-care pillars because if you are like me, if you are spending time with your people you are likely getting to check off the mental and physical care boxes as well…

Diet Care

Ok so this is probably the simplest of this equation ...when I eat good food I feel better physically and mentally which usually means I am a more energetic and happy dad, husband, son, etc. We all can benefit from having the most energy possible when it comes to being Today’s Dads, so if that means I reach for some carrots over a handful of Goldfish (those tasty bastards), then I’m going to do my best to do it...most of the time….

“Strive for balance my friends, that is the goal”

So we all have our own version of what self-care looks like, and that's totally fine if yours looks nothing like mine! I’m not claiming my formula is perfect or that I am a self-care expert...but what I am saying is if you're not prioritizing YOUR self-care than you are doing a disservice to you and your crew...so try to find a way to start making self-care a part of your routine, you will be amazed at how quickly it pays off!

And probably more importantly, we get to play the role of teacher and help our kiddos to be self-care masters themselves....just by showing the importance we place on self-care and how we want them to do the same...my daughter, Anderson, and I love to do some mental relaxation routines at night (check out the Calm app if you are interested)...and it is a great way for us to share and grow our self-care practice together!

Strive for balance my friends, that is the goal...and if you fail to find it today...then I suggest you Wake. Dad. Drink. Repeat. and try again tomorrow!

Palmer out!

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